sidle_lvpd

Whether it's a case, a court room, a morgue, in the lab, etc... Whether it's because you aren't allowed to or can't or shouldn't, whether you're training someone else or even watching it on television, how does it feel to watch someone else do your job?

When I watched Ronnie on the scenes with me after I moved to a different shift, it felt nice. She was good at what she did. Always asking questions and running different scenarios in her head of what could have happened, looking for the smallest details in things that didn't make sense.

I knew she'd be a good asset to any team she got on in the future and she'd make her way up the ranks in no time. It felt good to see that. It meant that I was doing my job in looking after her.

That remains the question.

I have the option of returning to the crime lab in Las Vegas, but is it time? It feels like time. Maybe it's the fact I want to go back to see him the team. I miss them more than I thought would be imaginable and I miss being there and helping, even if we had to go on separate shifts. I wonder if he even wants me still. I'm not making sense. I'm just a jumbled puzzle of a woman. Pieces that need that glue to be put back together, but I think that I have to go back to have that glue again. What kept me together for so long....

"There's enough sorrow in the world, isn't there, without trying to invent it."
E.M.Forster, A Room With A View.

( Read more... )

Sara Sidle
CSI: Las Vegas
609 words

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about any one thing you wished ~ concerning yourself, your life, the future, or anything else ~ what would you want to know?

When you got a psychic, you expect the show of bells and the woman swaying in the seat attempting to tell you your future. It comes with the money that you pay out to the person, to get your answers that you want. They don't pay attention to the truth, it's not what they are there for.

Leaving Las Vegas, the crime lab, Gil. If I could actually bring myself to believe that a crystal ball could lend me some truth to what the future would bring, I would ask it will I ever go back? Will I got back to the lab, to my life that I had there? I can't explain it but I had to leave. I wrote a letter, kissed Gil good bye and left.

Crystal balls can't tell the future, it's not worth trying to believe that they do. The truth of the matter is, you make your future by your actions and what you do. I don't need a crystal ball to tell me that someday, when I'm better, I'll go back. When I feel it's time, and when I feel I'm together enough to do so.

Sara Sidle
CSI:Las Vegas
Open for comments, please do so to main journal.
192 words.

( cut for spoilers of this season, letter to Gil from Episode )

( note from the mun, again cut for spoilers )

If you could have any mutant/super power, which one would it be, and what would you do with it?

( cut for season 8 spoilers )

Sara Sidle
CSI
169 words

*locked...so tight...it hurts....*

I'll make this short and sweet. I wish other people knew about Gil and I's relationship. Told you it was simple, and at the very same time, it's not simple, it's more complex then you could ever imagine. We can't tell people, because of our jobs, it would look bad. We have to maintain a completely professional environment. Thankfully, I'm not too demanding. I can't just snap my fingers and have the dream come true, because I know it'll never get out in the open.
It's like we're high school teenagers trying to hide the fact we're seeing each other from their watchful parents eyes (those parents would be everyone in the lab). I guess, wishes are mostly a selfish thing, and yes for the moment in time I'm going to be a very selfish person and make THAT wish, simply for the time being that's what I really want.

Sara Sidle
CSI: Las Vegas
150 words.
meta comments welcome at main journal

I don't dream. It's a fact, not a piece of fiction. I haven't dreamed since I was a little girl. As far as vivid dreams go....I don't have them either...

*locked*
There's one, that keeps coming and going once a month at least, sometimes more depending on what's happening in my life. A hand comes up behind me, and I can't breathe. Next thing I know I'm in a place where I'm tied up and someone's breath is washing over my skin and making it crawl. I feel sick. (really, when I wake up I fee sick too). I can't see their face, but somehow they seem familiar, like I've met them before, that I know them. I see the silver of something out of the corner of my eye, and as much as I try not to be scared, I can't help but swallow and hold my breath for a moment. My fear washing over my emotions and I start to panic. Then it just slides against my throat and it's the end of Sara Sidle. I work in a job where I see murder vics all the time, it's probably just a sense of a over active imagination and nothing to pay attention to. It's nothing to worry about, it's just a dream....
*unlocked*

Yeah, don't have dreams.

Sara Sidle
CSI: Las Vegas
216 words

( Sara Sidle: How much do you think a night like this would cost? )

Sara Sidle
CSI Las Vegas
409 words
This is open for RP/Meta comments on the main journal. Sara needs people around her right now :(

I'm just NOW being able to log into Sara and Catherine's journals as well as Kaylee's. Think Livejournal finally fixed what was going on that was causing me not to be able to post or log in.

I'll get to prompts and such later on today. My kid is having issues with her MP3 player and I need to play fix it girl.

Truth of the matter? There's never a perfect day. Something always tends to make things harder then they need to be.

Perfect day would just be having the same day off as Gil, to just lie in bed together and hold each other. No words, because I doubt even in my dream world, Gil would be very open with how he feels. Holding each other would be good enough. Where the phones are turned off, we can just lie there and watch something, talk about things, maybe...no. I won't say that. It's too private to just post it up somewhere for everyone to read.

It would just involve him making me feel I was the only one, when lately I really don't feel like I'm the only one. There's Lady Heather, who I found out that Gil possibly had a thing with. That hurt, beyond anything that hurt the most. That there was someone else. He didn't try defending himself at all, saying it was only for the job. That's where my perfect daydream kind of fizzles into a puddle of hurt and frustration. We never really have worked things out. I'm not even sure if he wants to. I don't know anything anymore. I'm too busy second guessing myself. Second guessing us....(if there's an us anymore. is there? I don't know. I can't be sure. I don't want to ask, it would make me feel idiotic, I already feel like a selfish child sometimes.)

My perfect day isn't perfect, it's marred with second guesses and words unspoken. How can I be so certain that even if I had the perfect day, it would truly be a perfect day? Instead of some dream that's going to break the moment I open my eyes?

Sara Sidle
CSI: Las Vegas
292 words

( cut for spoilerish crap I guess... )

( cut for length )
Sara Sidle
CSI Las Vegas
517 words.

Just wanted to say. If Sara dies in the season finale? You will see one angry mun. Who will think this whole thing is stupid and she WILL be ignoring it and going along like it never fucking happened. Sorry to everyone that follows "canon" but thats the way the cookie crumbles.

Given tonights events? I'm guessing I have to talk about a prior smile...

( cut for spoilers from episode 7.23 )

Sara Sidle
CSI: Las Vegas
340 words.
This is open for replies. Please comment at main journal. Thank you.

When you look for a best friend, you look for someone that is loyal, dependable, trustworthy and full of the same likes and dislikes as you. They comfort you, offer you a shoulder to cry on and when you're trying to hide they offer shelter. They're the ones that will wipe away your tears when you're crying because something got under your skin. My best friend holds me, we can have conversations of the abnormalities of blood and still laugh about it at the end of the whole thing. He told me that I made him happy, not sad. That meant something. He means something to me and we have a strange way of showing our affection to each other. We're private about it. Sometimes I hate it, and sometimes I love the fact that we have a private way of showing these things to one another. My best friend...makes me feel complete, whole. He's the only one that can take the broken peices and put them back together. He's my...everything.


Sara Sidle
CSI Las Vegas
171 words

My biggest mistake is not being honest with how I felt about certain things. I've come a long way, taken a job when I was offered it because it meant I would be near someone that I admired, someone I trusted, and through it all I remained calm, cool and collected. I did the job I set out to do and didn't bother thinking twice about the consequences that might come from it. I'm a jealous person, though I keep it very well hidden and I played the dance of the girl who didn't care, wasn't effected by anything.

There have been many woman come and go, and I'm not quite sure what exactly lies in the cards ahead. I know that Grissom is someone that I can confide in, someone that has been there for me from the very beginning and I admire him for that. I won't say that I'm in a relationship with him, because really. Let's not get into it alright? I'll only say that I'm not honest with people, and I'm not honest with things in my life. That's my biggest mistake. Can't we stop talking about this now?

Sara Sidle, Las Vegas Police Department, Crime Investigation Unit. I'm uh, not very good with these kinds of things, and mostly I work in the field making sure I do what I can to get the guys that did it caught. I work under Gil Grissom, who has been my mentor so to speak for years now. I'm good friends with Greg Sanders, whom I'm sure is lurking somewhere in the shadows listening to Marilyn Manson no doubt, and Catherine, Warrick, and Nick. I love them all, their like my family. But I'll never actually admit that to their faces. It isn't characteristic of me to do that. SO, yeah, nice to meet everyone.

I picked up Sara, but to be honest I'm playing by ear on some of her stuff because I haven't seen each season with her in it and stuff and I'm still catching up. lol. She's open for RP and making friends, if you can get through her toughness and insecurities that is.